Saturday, March 28, 2015

This is Me.

I've always been introverted my whole life and I have always felt that no one really understood and that no one really got me. I often mistook it as a bad thing that I should ultimately try to correct. Until recently, I found this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4&list=PLGirEUQUeNSEzaHDYvkbrkNync6E9mhH-&index=1) and it really has led me to feel that I am not alone. Most of my friends are extroverted and everyone in my family is extroverted and it really always made me feel like an outlier. My own family would judge me for wanting to be home alone reading or studying on the weekend, while they all went out and had fun with their friends. It wasn't that I didn't have friends to hang out with or was being left out. It was my own choice to do what made me happy and what made me feel good. I needed the weekend as a diffuser from the constant groups I have at my very large high school. I realized that I don't have to convert to the social norms; I can make the weekends my time to feel good, after all week of forced group work at school. I want to form my own ideas and have my own thoughts, I want to watch TV shows I love or read about political debates or study for my upcoming test. I want to do what I want to do. The worst thing was the feeling I felt of disapproval of my family; they didn't get it, they didn't understand that introverted people don't do well in group situations and need that time for themselves., because of this it led me to try and cover it up. I spent my freshman and sophomore years of high school trying to be bubbly, going to school dances, and talking just to talk; trying to fill a personality role that wasn't natural. This year I discovered that is not me; I don't care about being the bubbly girl everyone knows, I don't like school dances, and I like to listen until I have something meaningful to say. Don't get me wrong I am very involved in my school; I love being a part of a group, but in a group in which I am comfortable with and will still push me to branch out. I can be vice president of my school's Key Club, secretary of my school's Beta Club, active in National Honor Society, and on my school's tennis team while still feeling comfortable and doing something I love, serving others. I love community service and I feel it fits my introverted personality. I can go to a place and help out, give others strength and feel comfortable, because I am helping out one on one I'm not dancing in a play in front of everyone  a show or in a club where team work is involved constantly. I have a direct personal impact and connection, where I feel that I am doing something meaningful. Although I do feel that it is important to push yourself outside of what is comfortable, I don't think you should do it in a way to compromise the things you love and the personality that you were born with. Introversion is not something that should be hidden and covered up; it is something that should be celebrated. You should celebrate who you are and not be ashamed if you need time to yourself. I don't think there is anything wrong with extroversion; it is something to be celebrated as well, but I feel it is people that are introverted that truly need the most encouragement and openness to their situation. They don't need someone to be with them constantly, but they do need people to understand the reason why they want to be alone. They must be understood by the people around them or they will feel demoralized and feel as though they ultimately need to change. Introversion is ok; no introversion is power. It does not define how much success you can have in the future and It does not define who you will become. Accept it and strive for your goals no matter what they are, introverted people are often the best leaders.

Thanks for Reading,
Ashley

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