A week ago I would have never seen myself writing this post, but it's amazing what a visit home and some time to think can do for you. I admit it, I miss the comforts of home: I miss my mom giving me a hug after a long day, I miss sitting on the couch eating ice cream with my dad, I miss fighting over the radio as I drive my sister to school, I miss my dog sleeping outside my room. Sometimes I just wish I could have these little things back, these little moments that would help remind me that everything is going to be okay. Home is comfortable, everything about it is warm and fluffy. I just walk in and I feel relieved.
I cried, honestly cried for an hour yesterday in the car as I drove from home to school because I was leaving what was comfortable. I remembered how great it felt to be in a place that was just full of warmth. A place where I know I will be 100% loved and supported no matter what. And I had to go back to a place that was constantly challenging and pushing me. A place where most relationships are just beginning to form and things just were not guaranteed. I'm still trying to figure it all out here.
But I guess the thing is realizing that you need this step. That you need to leave that comfort of home, so that you can learn to create your own comfort. You have to learn to care for yourself. How will you make yourself feel better after a hard day? How will you reward yourself after a busy but successful week? You have to learn to find that comfort in yourself.
I don't want any of you to get the wrong impression from this post. I love college, and am so happy here. But the truth is that I'm realizing that while I can love it here, I can love home too. It doesn't have to be one or another. And I really am looking forward to finding comfort in myself.