|Image from (in)courage|
While in college, I have learned a lot about friendship and what it takes to maintain a healthy and balanced friendship. I guess you could say I learned this 2 ways, through long distance relationships with friends from home and making new friendships with people in college. What I have learned is that friendship is a two way street and if both people aren't willing to put in the effort than the friendship will inevitably crumble.
I came to college wanting to maintain a friendship with my friends from high school. So the first few weeks of college I texted them asking them how they were and what fun stuff was going on in their lives. They would always respond with a fun anecdote and I would think that everything was okay that our friendship was secure. But than I began to think about it, I was always the one putting in the effort to reach out. They never texted me or tried to contact me, it was all on me. So I decided to see what would happen if I stopped texting, would they pick up the slack. And it's simple, they didn't. So I made the decision and I decided I couldn't continue to put effort into something that wasn't being reciprocated. And while I miss hearing about my friend's days, I realize that friendship has to be about the cooperation of two people.
Friendship like anything thrives when in balance, and with balance comes the idea of give and take. My best friend and I exemplify this perfectly. Am I willing to wake up and talk to her when she needs a listening ear? Of course. Is she willing to go to a party with me even though it's not really her thing? Yes without a doubt. I do things I don't want to do because I know it makes her happy, and I know one day she will do something for me. It's balanced. We both are willing to put in the effort. She invites me to things and I invite her to things.
I guess my point of this whole post is simply to tell you all that friendships require effort from both people, and if you are in a friendship in which the other person is not making any effort than that is probably not the best friendship to be in. Think about your friendships are you putting equal effort into it? Is the other person? If someone isn't you either need to talk about it and sort it out or end the friendship. The easiest way to check is to simply stop reaching out and see if they ever reach out to you.