Wednesday, November 1, 2017

It's Okay to Not be Okay

Last week one of my friends repeatedly kept telling me about how she thought I was acting really unhappy and depressed, and how I should really try and be happier. I know she didn't mean anything bad by it but it got me thinking, why aren't we allowed to not be okay? When we're having a rough week and something just seems to not be going our way, why can't we take the time we need? Why do we need to instantly turn everything into happiness? I think it's because we don't want to seem weak, we don't want to seem defeated. 

But I say it's okay to feel defeated, it's okay to feel down. I'll be honest I have a bad habit of chasing after people. I know I shouldn't do it, people tell me not to do it but I do it time and time again. And it never works out in my favor. As incompetent as boys seem sometimes, every boy loves a good chase. And how do they get a chase, if you're sitting right there waiting for them? So this past week, the boy I liked didn't follow up. I was hurt, I was in a mental dilemma all week of whether to text him and make the plans for him or to just let it go. I spent a lot of time hurting and feeling rejected. Because that's what I needed to feel, I needed to feel hurt so that I would learn. I need to feel rejected so that I could move on. If I had just ignored those emotions and put on a happy face, I'd probably still be texting him trying to make something out of nothing. 

So I'm here to say that it's okay to not be okay. Lounge on the couch, eat some ice cream, cry in the shower, rant to your best friend: do what you need to do. It doesn't matter if society is telling you that you should be happy and that you should hide your emotions. It's okay to show your emotions, we all have them and for good reason. It doesn't make you week to show them, it actually makes you strong. Strong enough to know that you need to take time for yourself, time to do what makes you happy. I know sometimes it's really hard but its worth it because it is what will bring you peace.

So be like me and don't be afraid to show your emotions. It doesn't matter what it is: from a boy breaking your heart, to having a fight with a friend, or not doing as well on a test as you expected. You deserve your moment to feel down, as long as you don't let that define your existence. In the end, you have to learn and move on and find your happy. But never feel bad to take a moment to not be okay. 

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