Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Now Doesn't Have to be Forever

Top: J.Crew Factory // Sweater: J.Crew Factory // Watch: Kate Spade

This fall I came back to school and my attitude changed. I spent the summer broken hearted over a boy I shouldn’t have wasted a moment sad about. Even though it was a tough situation it played a large role in shaping my perspective. I still want the same thing, I want a boyfriend but I want one in a different way. I spent a lot of my life convinced that every boy you date should be someone you want to marry, but today I disagree. I’m not opposed to the idea that maybe your now isn’t your forever, especially in college. A lot of my friends think I’m crazy for ever thinking of wasting a moment on a guy if I didn’t see some perfect future with them. But sometimes a relationship can be a lot of happy memories without a happily ever after.

I know why my friends tell me this, they tell me because I get attached to people so easily. Basically, if a guy is decently entertaining and mildly attractive, I’m convinced I need to date them. I become attached and when they don’t reciprocate feelings I become devastated. So, my friends worry that if I’m dating someone just to date someone I’m going to end up hurt because I’ll get attached. And then when it inevitably ends they’ll have to hear me cry and complain and see me heartbroken. I honestly think part of the problem is that I wasn’t looking for the right type of guy, I was trying to find my forever not my now.

But the reality is I want to date someone that makes me love the moment I’m in. I don’t want to be spending my days with someone because I think they’ll be a great husband in 10 years. I want someone that is perfect for me in this very moment. Someone who likes to go to sorority functions, who likes to go out on the weekends, who will come visit me at work just to make me smile, who will go to Krispy Kreme at 11PM, and who will watch TV while we procrastinate our homework. And who knows if the person that gives me that now will be the person who meets a different set of needs ten years from now.

But I’m starting to learn that sometimes a guy really can just be a kiss in a frat basement or a fun date to a sorority function. Guys are just people to be friends with and to make happy memories with. You don’t always have to be overly invested. They don’t always have to be your boyfriend, they don’t have to be your forever sometimes they just should be what you want in a moment.
I guess a lot of it for me is that I have no desire to get married young, I’m not the girl that wants a guy getting on one knee shortly after college graduation. I want to finish law school and find the city I want to spend the rest of my life. I want to feel successful and accomplished and then I want to get married. So maybe I’ll get hurt a few times before then, I’ll get attached and things won’t last forever, but what is life without a little struggle. In the end, I know it will all be worth it because I’ll live a life I love but also find my happily ever after. Maybe not right now but eventually.

I know a lot of people won’t agree with this blog post, I know a lot of my friends won’t agree with this. And hey who knows maybe I’ll find my soulmate tomorrow and everything will change for me. But for now, my plan is to live, to love, and to cherish the present moment because in reality that's all you can really ever do.


  1. i agree, not all relationships end up ina happily ever after but that doesnt mean they ll end on a sour note. some leave behind memories that you cherish long after youve found your happily ever after