Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Surviving College Boys

Boys, boys, boys: we love them, we mostly hate them. But whether we like it or not somehow they become a big part of our lives, especially in college. I honestly don't feel like I have much authority to write this post because I'm actually the worst with boys but it was requested, so I'll share a little bit of the wisdom that I have. 

1. Put Yourself Out There
Talk to the guy that sits next to you in class or the guy you always see at your favorite frat. Ask the guy to the date function or formal, he probably won't say no and I bet you'll have a great time. Even if you aren't particularly interested in them, you never know who they may be friends with or know. And regardless it's nice to get to know new people and have a fun conversation or night. I'm a strong believer in being vulnerable and taking chances and this is the easiest way to do that. 

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Boys are dumb, at some point in talking to them/interacting with them they will say something that will most likely confuse the heck out of you or they'll just stop talking to you all together. Maybe they'll always be excited when you ask them to do something but never actually ask you to do anything in return. You'll probably take it incredibly personally but just know they're just a dumb boy who has no idea what they want. They'll either make up for it eventually or you can just drop them like the idiot they are.

3. Accept Your Mistakes 
On the other hand, you'll probably do something stupid at some point as well. Maybe you'll be having a little bit too much fun one night and you'll Snapchat or text them when you most definitely shouldn't. Maybe they won't respond or they won't respond the way you want. As a result, you'll feel like the dumbest person in the world in the moment but in reality, you have to realize that it doesn't really matter. One message or comment isn't going to ruin something as much as you may think it does in the moment. I think I probably do something idiotic in an interaction with a boy at least once a week but it's fine, I'm still alive.

4. Stop Searching
One of my friends, always tells me this but it's true. Stop analyzing every guy as a potential boyfriend and instead focus on making friendships and connections with people. Be friends first and then if it happens to turn into something more, be happy with what it becomes. Similarly, keep your expectations and feelings low, in order to avoid getting hurt. And remember that you don't always have to be looking for forever, sometimes you may just need a now

5. Form Your Own Opinions
If you're in a sorority especially or even if you aren't it's likely that someone will know the guy you are interested in and they will have opinions on them. But it is so important to form your own opinions about people. Of course be cognizant and consider what other people say about them, but get to know the person yourself and then make judgments. Don't write someone off just because your friend's friend interacted with him once and they think he is the biggest jerk in the world.

If I'm being honest, I need someone to tell me all these tips on a daily basis. I can't even count the number of times I have spent (probably way too much) sad over something a boy has done or said to me. It stinks when someone doesn't like you back or when someone doesn't seem to have any element of respect for your feelings. It makes you feel like a crumby person but letting it eat your life alive is an absolute dumb waste of time. Boys honestly don't owe you anything and when it comes down to it someone will put in the effort and it will be a wonderful breath of fresh air. But until then keep your heart open but also maybe keep a little bit of distance.