Friday, June 21, 2019

Learning to Live

If someone asked me to describe myself, I think one of the first words that would pop into my head is organized. Don’t get me wrong there is absolutely nothing wrong with being organized, frankly, I think being organized has saved me on numerous occasions. You know like when you look at your planner and remember that thing you almost forgot or the fact that you know exactly where something is when you need to find it. But is organized really the first word that should come to my head when I’m asked to describe myself? How about creative or ambitious or caring? I find that I like to be organized because I like to be planned. I frequently find myself thinking about the distant future and I’m not talking about next month or even next year but years down the line. The inability to control this very distant future often times leads me to panic and freak out. And if I’m being completely frank there’s no reason I need to be worrying about these different things, because at this point they’re so utterly out of my control. Yes, I can do things to help prepare myself for a job or a family, but I definitely don’t need to obsess over it.

The thing I hate the absolute most is that I can’t write out the next 5 years of my life into my planner. I can’t predict what I’ll be doing at this time 3 years from now. I don’t know where I’ll be living or what job I’ll have, and for a long time that freaked me out. But I’m starting to realize that not knowing is okay. And as a result, I’ve been working on learning to live, to enjoy the present moment, and think less about the future. This is so hard for me and I still find myself on occasion obsessing about getting things perfectly planned out but I just have to tell myself to let it go, and to embrace the present moment.

One way I’ve been trying to do this is to live in the moment, in the past, I used to have a daily planner I used obsessively. I would plan every hour of every day trying to make the most of every second. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a good way to get things done, I would stick to the schedule and finish what I needed to. I was efficient and timely but it also made my days feel very rigid and often times I would say no to things simply because they didn’t fit in my predetermined schedule. So this year I bought myself a weekly planner, still plenty of room to keep track of what’s going on but not so strict and scheduled. I can say yes to hanging on the quad with friends or staying at lunch for a little longer, knowing I can make up the lost time later.

Life isn’t about checking boxes. It’s not about having everything perfectly scheduled and planned out. It’s about living and exploring. It’s about experiences and people. It’s about learning and growing. Life has so much to offer when you stop letting it pass by and instead start living it.

So start living!
Ashley
instagram: @welldressedash
pinterest: welldressedash


1 comment:

  1. Amen to this! Hard to learn as a fellow planner-addict but oh so important!

    xoxo,
    Katie
    chicincarolina.blogspot.com 

    ReplyDelete